i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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