Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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