it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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