but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
