every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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