There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
