Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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