Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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