Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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