i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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