im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
