Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
