Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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