i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize