ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
