Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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