first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need a beard to bite.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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