cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize