plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
