She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
