my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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