I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The best revenge is premature balding
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
