It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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