he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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