from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the day after is always just damage control
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Randomize
