I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
