So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
