I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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