On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You need a sexual gate keeper
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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