you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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