is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
