I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
