I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize