Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
