he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
