She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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