he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize