I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She tied me up with her honor cords...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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