TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
