And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
