Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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