she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
