The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize