I wish I could teleport
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
