My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
