after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
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He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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