you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Farmville is her only friend.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
