Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
