I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
