i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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