i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
