the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
