cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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