Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize