one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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