oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
