He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
