I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
